Alien Abduction

What to do:

    • Watch for telltale signs of extraterrestrial activity:
    • Unusual moving lights in the sky.
    • Stopped clocks or watches.
    • Crop circles on athletic playing fields
    • Talking squids wearing space helmets.
  • Get inside
    • Lock all doors and windows
    • Hide
    • Clamp your hands over your ears and hum familiar songs to yourself to disrupt alien mind control efforts. (Early Beatles songs, 1980s show tunes and Beethoven’s 9th symphony have all proven effective)
    • If available, wear a hat made from aluminum foil to hide your thoughts from potential alien abductors.
  • If you are abducted:
    • Call University Police immediately at 607-753-2111.
    • Move sideways. Victims caught in an alien tractor beam can sometimes escape by making a sideways swimming motion, like the sidestroke. Caution: Do NOT attempt this once you are 20 or more feet off the ground.
    • Relax. Once inside the ship, there is nothing you can do. Struggling increase the chance you will pull a muscle or break a nail
    • Try to remember as much as you can about your surroundings. Although your memory will most likely be wiped clean, any observations you recall could prove useful to science.
    • Remain quiet. In space, no one can hear you scream.